'this is the revolutionary outfit'

The street-hunting fashionistas at 'The Sartorialist' blog seem to be snubbing quality responses to their posts based on...what? Is there an elite group of commentators respected for their wishy-washy opinions and unrivaled formality? I thought I'd document my rather punchy comments that never made it to the coveted spots down below frequent pictures of the middle-aged Milanese. Underneath a photo of a woman wearing head-to-toe American Apparel, I commented that American Apparel might be acceptable, were it not for the despicable man currently heading this "sweat-shop free" company, who requests sexual favors from his female employees. Apparently, social consciousness and 'The Sartorialist' are not friends. Plus, the hem of the skirt looked like the handiwork of a contestant from Project Runway.

A couple days later, in response to a pink sequined mess, I posted a less political and just-plain-hilarious comment that didn't make the cut. It read: "A carefully selected accessory (BELT IT!) could have saved her from looking like Oksana Bauil." Funny, right? 'The Sartorialist' didn't seem to think so, but whatever...I'm not bitter. It's not my fault that 1) not everyone can have the innate fashion sense that I and Edith Beale (pictured below) share and 2) blogs can now edit comments, thus censoring a medium one would think was pretty free from censure.

boozy and the banshees

Frantic banshee woman:

"Do you fax things here? I just had a huge fight with FedEx Kinkos. I am trying to buy a house, and I missed the 11am deadline for faxing over these papers. FedEx was having problems with their fax machine, and they wouldn't refund my money; I paid $12! They gave me a twenty minute extension for the house. How much is it to fax?"

Me, calmly:

"$2 per page for the first five and $1 per page for each page after that."

Frantic banshee woman:

"That's too much. I'll have to go somewhere else. Do you know where else I can fax?"

Maybe it's just me, but doesn't it seem like her priorities are a little backwards? You're given a 20 minute extension for the purchase of a home, yet suddenly price is going to force you to wander around looking for another location that offers fax services. I can only assume that she was too busy downing a bottle of cheap vodka and beating her children to make the deadline in the first place.

i hate birthdays...

...and with any luck, this will be the last...because I will have miraculously discovered how to thwart aging, not because I plan on dying within the next twelve months. You are so morbid!

I'm appalled at your morose fascination...or am I?

he said, with a closed-mouth snicker

Sometimes, I have a spare moment to think. When I do, it results in precious gems of intellect to be collected and studied. On one particular occasion--a walk to Dunkin' Donuts for my regular medium french vanilla iced coffee with cream and sugar--I decided that I wish to be remembered for this quote:

"Males under the age of 45 are all imbeciles, but what they lack in intellect, they make up for in attractiveness and the possession of a particularly excitable (and exciting) body part."

Nicholas Peruzzi, 1984-

Oscar Wilde would congratulate my wit and agree, after inspection of the troves of not unfortunate-looking Cro-Magnons I encounter banging at copy machines each day, that the male specie is endangered.

vagaytion

In preparation for a week in Provincetown, Dan and I have been mulling over wardrobe options and themes. With the inability to choose any one genre for inspiration (or make decisions at all ever), we're basically going to attempt to embody a summer of wealth: French Riviera, 60's yacht clubs, all things nautical, and subtle Americana. I know what you're thinking, and yes, this much thought absolutely must go into sartorial choices for a week in Provincetown at a gay couple-owned B&B with rooms themed for major Shakespearean works. We're staying in the 'As You Like It' room, thus our style will be as we like it; our vaGAYtion will look something like this...

or this...

or this..

or this...

or this...

or this...

There will most likely be some sort of pre-planning runway montage in our 1 bedroom apartment, photos included!