make it a double

Last Sunday, I waited anxiously for my friend to arrive to accompany me to a Pride function downtown. While I was waiting, I consumed two absinthe cocktails, mopped the floors in my apartment, and listened to Macy Gray's first album, On How Life Is. Jealous? What I thought was a particularly enjoyable Sunday morning (I began drinking somewhere between 11am and noon) and silly little look into my ridiculous habits has become a dire representation of my spiral into alcoholism, at least, so says Caroline Knapp, author of Drinking: A Love Story.

Probably intended for actual AA members, this memoir seemed out of my own psycho-social reach--representing the range of human emotion and trauma through beer goggles. The problem with the book becomes its ease of penetration; anyone reading this novel could easily step away from it thinking, "My name is Nick, and I am an alcoholic," though with his or her own name inserted in place of "Nick," of course. It did not help matters that her life paralleled mine: middle class up-bringing, liberal arts education, hope to succeed as a writer. She does bring up some interesting points regarding popular views of drinking, though. She notes that drinking seems to be a writer's territory, with notable creative minds all suffering from some form of alcoholism or addiction. She also mentions nuanced takes on masculinity and drinking--an exercise in brotherhood for men, yet unappealing and dangerous for women. Most interesting to me, though, were her thoughts on sophistication and alcoholic libations. She always saw her father sit down after a long day at work with his elegant gin martini; it was an adult thing, she thought. I've always felt that drinking brought with it a certain air of sophistication and sense that I'd finally grown up. Plus, as a frequent host, how was I to deny that alcoholic beverages are more of a classy conversation piece than Iced Tea, unless, of course, it is of the Long Island variety?

Unfortunately, the extent to which Ms. Knapp takes her drinking is downplayed by all of her philosophical insights, which had me sucking down Sangria in a pool of tears the night I got halfway through the book. I think I've finally come to my senses, realizing that the way I drink is controlled and sophisticated. For a writer, I'm sadly well-adjusted and sensible with regards to addictions, quitting smoking after realizing that it just made me sick and curbing my drinking when I decided that having money for just a few expensive bottles of champagne was far more enjoyable than getting plastered nightly.

Alcohol plays such a big part in society today, that it is hard for anyone to justify not going to AA. It's all incredibly personal, though, and if I want to enjoy two cocktails whilst listening to 90's classics, then, by God, I'm going to do it!