use your words

It's so unfortunate when thirty-somethings catch on to popular speech trends three years after they've been declared officially dead. For instance, over the past few days, I have heard a woman refer to her purchase of cardboard moving boxes as "Terrif" and another, slightly younger woman use "Perf" to describe her satisfaction with my answers both on the phone and in person. She even said it aloud to herself, then giggled, as if totally pleased with her adoption of this funky new trend. I obnoxiously inserted "perforated" into my own processing of her comment to amuse myself out of the possibility of tears.

Some of you may remember the rampant use of this text and instant message infused speech and how irritating it became when attempting to have an intelligent conversation. A friend of mine even wrote an essay for publication satirizing these "Unnes Abbreev's," as we liked to call them. We used these words only in jest, intending to criticize the modern need for such quick verbal exchanges. I thought I had finally moved outside the realm of half-speech, until it spread further, and in a totally unironic way. I can no longer jocularly say to someone "BRB" as I exit a room with the intention to return shortly; it just seems like I fully intended the abbreviation. My only hope is that the ironic understanding of this absurd speech pattern makes it to the appropriate populations in three years. That would be fab.