why don't you evah call ya mutha?

Comments like "I'm very disappointed in you" and "When can I expect to hear from you?" are normally reserved for occasions such as dinner with grandma or weekends at mom's, especially if either of these ladies practice in the Judeo-Christian tradition. It came as quite a surprise to hear similarly guilt-laden and dripping-so-much-with-sarcasm-you-get-drenched phrases out of someone who can barely speak English.

The UPS Store that I work for has a particularly disadvantageous location just around the corner from an English Language School. I suffer through one stuttered conversation after another, usually ending in huffy misunderstanding. Today, a young gentleman (of an ethnic origin I shall leave unknown so as to avoid stereotype) demanded various retributions for his apparently lost package. It was as clear as day that the recipient simply needed to find the location of the leasing office for his apartment complex in order to retrieve the package. Despite the problem's easy solution, this gentleman still managed to cut down my boss, me, and the customer service representative he had on hold with "I'm very disappointed in you" and "This will determine whether or not I ship with UPS in the future."

It was a level of guilt not even Grandma Peruzzi could imagine, as she holds her wooden spoon and shouts over a Manhattan, gold crucifix dangling from her neck. What are they teaching the students at these English language schools? Are they subjected to hours of Will & Grace and Everybody Loves Raymond, inevitably teaching them that parental guilt pervades American society? Also, I didn't realize that a sub par knowledge of English warranted speaking to others as only their mothers are allowed to speak to them. The only solution is clearly a cage match: Judeo-Christian Mothers vs. English Language School students. I think we all know who has the upper hand.